Young people are realizing that there is more than just the physical consequences that can occur - there's also emotional and mental consequences to take into account.

Abstinence outside marriage and fidelity within marriage are the best choices for a hopeful, healthy future for individuals, families and communities. Check out some of the info below.

    What Is Abstinence?
    Benefits of Abstinence
    Sexual Exposure Chart
    An Abstinence Educator's Story
    How To Not Have Sex (Again) Until You're Married


What Is Abstinence?

•Sexual abstinence is the calculated decision and deliberate action of a person to refrain from sexual activity.

•If you are not married, sexual abstinence is the lifestyle that invests in a future with greatest opportunity of health, hope and happiness.

Reality Check:
- Not every person your age is having sex.
- Movies and TV don't show the full story.
- Sex will not guarantee a longer and closer relationship.
- Sex will not make you more mature, grown up, or a "real" man or woman.

back to top

Benefits of Abstinence

•The only truly effective and practical method to prevent Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) and nonmarital pregnancies.

•Frees an unmarried individual to focus on personal development (like education, work, travel, or other goals).

•There's no cost and is available to everyone.

back to top

Sexual Exposure Chart

"When you have sex with someone, you are having sex with everyone they have had sex with for the last ten years, and everyone they and their partners have had sex with for the last ten years."
C. Everett Koop, M.D., Former US Surgeon General

Sexual Exposure Chart (if every person has only the same number of partners as you)

click image to enlarge



back to top

An Abstinence Educator's Story

One of Lifeline PCC's No Regrets Abstinence Education presenters shares why she teaches:

***
I still vividly remember being a teenager. That's one of the reasons I teach the No Regrets curriculum in the schools.

My home life was miserable, I didn't like nor get along with my dad; I never remember feeling loved by him. I longed for that love and since I couldn't seem to get it from my dad, I turned to guys.

Besides the usual explanations of how babies were made, the only other thing I was told about sex was not to do it, it was sinful, and I'd go to hell. Not enough information to discourage a girl who thought that through sexual activity she could finally feel the closeness and love she was seeking. I had never heard of STD's (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) nor did anyone tell me in practical terms what premarital sexual activity could mean to my future, or the consequences I could potentially suffer as a result.

I honestly believe if I had been given the information that is contained in the Why kNOw curriculum we are teaching in the schools, I would have made better choices. I'm sure I would have still made mistakes but I truly believe I would have made far less. I was so IGNORANT.

In every class we teach, there are a few kids who are already jaded, and think they know everything or have already made up their mind that nothing you say is going to make any difference to them. The majority however, seem to really be listening to what we have to say. It's hard to put into words but when I look at them as I'm teaching it's almost as if they are longing to find a good reason to say no to all the pressure they are facing.

I felt like I faced a lot of pressure when I was their age, but I can tell it is much worse for these kids. Although we teach them about the potential negative consequences of premarital sex, we also give them practical ways to deal with the pressure they face, to really help them understand they do have a choice that only they can make.

On an evaluation I recently handed out to the students, asking them for their input on how the classes affected them, one of the boys (13 years old) wrote, "I was thinking about having sex, but I have now decided to wait."

I wish I could have said the same thing.
***

back to top

How To Not Have Sex (Again) Until You're Married*

1. Do not date people who are sexually active. If you don't know, ask!!! If saving sex for marriage is important to you, it should be important to them as well.

2. Do not date people who think Star Trek Kissing ("hands boldly go where no hands have gone before" - kissing with sexual touching) is normal.

3. Set your standards early. Decide now that you want to remain sexually pure. Don't wait until you are in the heat of passion to decide what you are going to do. If you wait, your decision will be based on emotions.

4. Find a friend of the same sex who also wants to remain sexually pure and hold one another accountable. After each date, have your friend ask if you kept your standards.

5. Double date as often as possible or go with a group.

6. Do not lie down horizontally together - even to watch TV.

7. Do not go "parking" or place yourself in an isolated situation where a potential make out session could occur.

8. Be careful about what's in front of your eyes and what your ears hear. You subject yourself to a mild form of torture when you tempt yourself. What you see and hear does affect you!

*Why kNOw©, AAA Women's Services, Copyright © 1999

back to top